We all have the best intentions when we get married. We want to make a loving, caring relationship with our significant other—and that includes having a good relationship with their family members too. But sometimes things don’t always work out that way. Maybe your in-laws are controlling or critical of you, or maybe you’ve had disagreements about raising children or other family matters. Whatever the case may be, it’s important that you learn how to maintain a positive relationship with your in laws if you want your marriage to succeed.
“Understand the relationship you have with them.”
Before you can maintain a positive relationship with your in-laws, it’s important to understand what the relationship is and isn’t. Are you close? Do they like spending time with you? How does this affect the way they see their son or daughter’s partner?
What are their expectations of you as a spouse (and possibly parent)? What kinds of things can they ask from or expect from someone in that role? What do they need from us in order for us to be able to meet those expectations and fulfill those needs/wants. And vice versa: what are our own needs/wants when it comes to dealing with them as part of our own family unit “Don’t get caught up in the past.”
The past is the past, and you need to let it go. If your in-laws have done something that has hurt your feelings or offended you in some way, try not to let it affect your present relationship with them. It’s easy for us humans to get caught up in the past and constantly relive our experiences over and over again, but this will only make things worse–not only for yourself but also for everyone involved!
If an argument has occurred between family members before a big holiday dinner (or any other event), don’t let this ruin what could otherwise be a happy time together as a whole family unit. If possible, avoid bringing up any negative feelings toward each other until after everyone has left so as not create tension between those who were present at said event or dinner party/get together etc..
“Speak up when you are being treated unfairly or unfairly accused.”
Sometimes, you may feel like you’re being treated unfairly. If this happens, it’s important not to keep quiet about it. Don’t be afraid to speak up when your in-laws are doing things that are unfair or hurtful–and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. If speaking up doesn’t resolve the issue right away, consider changing your relationship with them by limiting or eliminating contact with them.
“Seek help and support if things get really bad.”
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a difficult relationship with your in-laws, it’s important to seek help and support from a therapist or counsellor. You may also want to talk about your feelings with someone close to you–a friend or family member who will listen without judgement. If writing is more your style, keep a journal where you can write down all of your thoughts and feelings about the situation at hand.
Finally, remember that everyone goes through times when they feel like giving up on something important in their lives–but don’t let this discourage or frustrate you. Be patient with yourself as well as others around you; if possible find ways for both parties involved to compromise so that everyone wins out in the end. “It is possible to have a positive relationship with your in-laws, even if they are difficult.
It is possible to have a positive relationship with your in-laws, even if they are difficult. You can’t change the fact that they behave the way they do, but you can change how you react to them. Try to understand their perspective and why they behave the way they do.
Try to find common ground with them. Take some time to get to know them and their interests, so that you can have an meaningful conversation when you are together.
You don’t have to be stuck in a bad relationship with your in-laws. Even if they are difficult people, there are steps you can take to improve the relationship and make it more positive. You can start by understanding where they are coming from, not getting caught up in the past, speaking up when something unfair happens or someone accuses you unfairly, and seeking help if things get really bad.
For more on handling the In-Law relationship read this article.
To talk about it contact us today.
